Waiting for a rotten donkey (The Herald)

By Reason Wafawarova in SYDNEY, Australia

07 Dec 2009

THE vainglorious hoopla about negotiators "ironing out GPA ‘outstanding issues’" is turning out to be no more than an overrated trifle.

There is a Shona saying that gives an apt description of waiting in vain.

It says "Kumirira dhongi rakaora", literally meaning "waiting for a dead and rotten donkey".

This is exactly what the nation of Zimbabwe can expect out of the latest round of talks between the six representatives of the three political parties that form the inclusive Government.

What the people of Zimbabwe are waiting for are jobs, economic stability, affordable education, a reliable health delivery system, food security, safe and reliable water supplies across the country, sufficient electricity, safe and reliable roads, an efficient transport system, and a reliable social welfare system after retirement.

There is no evidence from the agenda list of 27 items under the current round of negotiations that the inclusive Government has an intention to commit itself to any of the expectations listed above; or at least any visiting stranger would conclude.

This writer sincerely hopes that the facilitating South Africans pick up the anomaly for what it is.

Of the 27 agenda items under negotiation, only one is remotely related to economic development and that item is superstitiously pegged on number 13, a number the West finds rather superstitious.

This agenda item is put across simply as "National Economic Council", whatever it is that the negotiators are discussing about this concept.

This writer wouldn’t be too optimistic that it’s anything too hopeful for the economy.

Most probably the negotiators are quarrelling about which party should provide the chairperson of this animal, and what are to be the perks for the councillors and other such important issues.

The best way to describe the negotiations going on at the moment is employment creation for the boys and girls from Zimbabwe’s political circles, together with influence and power sharing; something Prime Minister Tsvangirai and Nelson Chamisa are so honest and frank about.

They must be commended for not bothering to deceive us as others seem to be doing.

This writer took a close look at the 27 agenda items and concluded that about 16 of them emanated from the MDC-T stable, seven from Zanu-PF and four from the three parties put together.

This was based on the assumption that the MDC is not known to be taking any initiatives in complaining about the so-called GPA, rather waiting to declare their position each time a contentious issue arises.

That is probably the wisest thing that Arthur Mutambara and his lucky colleagues can ever do, and it is all too understandable.

This writer cannot believe that the issue topping the agenda items is the swearing in of one Roy Bennett as a deputy minister.

That obviously is the work of the MDC-T and it can be easily traced right to the desk of our Prime Minister, and all the way to Western moneybags and the notorious sources well known to all Zimbabweans.

Anyway, this is an employment issue for one of the boys, and the boy in question is the blue-eyed golden boy that cannot be messed up; if the welfare of the other boys from his circle is to be safeguarded.

Then we have another MDC-T item about the appointment of provincial governors, whatever that is supposed to mean.

The Constitution makes it clear that provincial governors are an extension of the presidency and that is precisely why the incumbents are appointed by the President.

Whatever the agreement the negotiators come up with, this matter is also a matter of 10 jobs up for grabs between the boys and girls that hail from our political community.

Zanu-PF comes up with the item of sanctions, and this writer sincerely hopes this is coming from an economic perspective rather than addressing the political issue of travel bans, that scare-mongering political mischief from the West that was meant to divide Zanu-PF and to prevent would-be new entries from even thinking of joining the party.

Surely, there is no agreement from the six negotiators that can ever in itself lift the illegal economic sanctions imposed on Zimbabwe by the West, but what these people can do is make a unified call for such a lift.

The negotiating team would do the nation a huge favour by clearly outlining the issue of travel warnings for tourists, trade, credit lines, and foreign direct investment; as the major areas of concern in the call for the lifting of sanctions.

Then we have MDC-T’s tired and overplayed issue of the appointment of Attorney-General Johannes Tomana and Reserve Bank Governor Dr Gideon Gono.

This is a clear issue of a struggle for influence between MDC-T and Zanu-PF.

Zanu-PF clearly feel the only way to have a sense of safety and say in the financial sector of the economy would be to have an RBZ Governor they can trust; given the sabre rattling style of Finance Minister Tendai Biti.

That is politically understandable.

The MDC-T wants Gono out so that Tendai Biti can have the leverage to execute his financial demolition scheme against Zanu-PF.

On the other hand, the MDC-T hope that an AG of their choice, or one they can perceive to be sympathetic to their cause; would be to Patrick Chinamasa what Gono is to Tendai Biti.

Of course, the greatest victim of this set up would justice, but who cares about justice when the political boys are after power and influence?

Then there is the item of media, triplicated by the repetition of the same concept in item 18 and 19.

Item 5 talks about pirate radio stations (and that must be from Zanu-PF), hate speech (probably from all three parties), bias in the media (from MDC-T); and item number 18 talks about "the role and reform of the public media" (from MDC-T), and "also private media" (from Zanu-PF).

Item number 19 talks about the "Role and position of the Permanent Secretary for Information and Publicity, George Charamba" (from MDC-T), and one wonders why these three items were not combined into one, just like our whole economy was presumably covered by one animal called "National Economic Council".

This writer does not understand those politicians who think his column hates them.

Opinion and analyses is not about making politicians feel loved and fuzzy.

It is about objective scrutiny of the actions of politicians and other public figures whose role has a direct effect on the life of the public.

If politicians want to feel loved they must go to church, or to their spouses, and they must stop hunting for love in newspaper columns.

If media "reforms" means coming up with a media that makes politicians happy then cursed be our nation.

And what is the matter with Charamba’s role?

MDC-T may be looking at ways of weakening ministries allocated to Zanu-PF, but this is a poor way of doing so.

The simplistic way of thinking that Charamba does all the thinking for journalists and independent contributors who are part of the public media in Zimbabwe is just puerile.

This writer for one has been accused many times of working under Charamba’s instruction; much as it is the truth that Charamba and Wafawarova have not directly communicated even once in life.

Other MDC-T agenda items include "Rule of law issues and State organs and i nstitutions, Review of ministerial allocations, land audit and tenure systems and Government framework".

We know the rule of law rhetoric is another attempt at Johannes Tomana and an effort to neutralise the court system to the liking of MDC-T politicians.

That is based on the misimpression that the current order is in line with Zanu-PF interests.

The assertion sticks as propaganda reality but has never been proven.

We know that MDC-T eyes justice and security ministries and that is for obvious and politically understandable motives.

So there is need for "review of ministerial allocations".

It is the land audit and tenure system bit that is quite strange.

Seriously the negotiators do not expect the nation to be waiting for them to come up with a land tenure system for us all, all by themselves.

That would be ludicrous. And how many land audits are we going to have?

What has become of the first land audit that was already carried out a few years back?

Then we have the peevish calls for a review of the "Chairing of Cabinet" and the relationship between "Cabinet and Council of Ministers", and "ministerial mandates".

Are these issues not covered in the GPA? Who is not clear about who should chair Cabinet and where is such a person coming from, politically that is?

Who does not know the difference between Cabinet and the Council of Ministers and what is it they are not clear about?

We cannot be drawn into hindsight-driven power games played for the benefit of one principal in the inclusive Government.

And talking about principals; what is this nonsense being negotiated about "transport arrangements for principals"?

Honestly, do we need a team of South Africans to facilitate such a triviality?

Equally trivial is the issue of "communication among principals" and also misplaced is the issue of "security of principals".

Can the nation trust those three lawyers, the good mother and the two others in the negotiating team with coming up with meaningful "security of the principals"?

Zanu-PF came up with the items of "Parallel Government" and "External interference".

The first is intertwined with the second in that the reported ghost workers in the Prime Minister’s Office are actually funded and directed by external political powers; frankly speaking Western powers.

This in reality must be one item under National Security, an item that reads like it came from MDC-T, given the complaining tone about "security sector reforms".

Perhaps the item about National Security can be entertained by the public if it is about the sovereignity and security of our nation, not about generals going around saluting politicians of some people’s choice.

Can someone explain what exactly needs negotiation about national heroes?

It is hoped this is not about the scramble for the Heroes’ Acre by our cadres from "the democratic struggle", a struggle that tragically took the lives of such renowned "heroes" as my late colleague and friend, Learnmore Judah Jongwe.

This writer can also add and say whoever came up with the idea of discussing or negotiating "Constitutional Commissions" must just read the Constitution and get all the answers from there.

It is a fairly easy chapter.

Zanu-PF must have come up with the items on "Role and funding of NGOs", perhaps hoping to tame the outrageous onslaught the party has been facing from the Western-driven donor community and their auxiliary NGOs. Zanu-PF’s frustration is understandable, but this writer thinks the idea of negotiating on this is nothing more than an effort to burden the MDC-T with something, more than it is anything to do with stopping the Zanu-PF-destruction focused NGOs in Zimbabwe.

That needs a lot more than persuading Biti and his colleagues.

It is an outright war in its own right, and Zanu-PF must understand this.

Perhaps Zanu-PF can get somewhere in discussing the Multi-Donor Trust Fund because that creature is a direct baby of the mischief of those who want to tilt the GPA in MDC-T’s favour.

Equally mischievous is the "selective funding of ministries by donors", another item that must have come from Zanu-PF.

Again this can be an attempt at burdening the

MDC, but the Western countries doing this will not listen to the outcome of the negotiations, even when facilitated by South Africans.

They will listen to the party of their choice, the MDC-T.

Again Zanu-PF must understand this unambiguously if the party still knows how to strategise.

The only way of stopping the "politicisation of humanitarian aid" is to grow enough food crops and that is what the negotiators should be discussing.

That must be common sense actually.

MDC-T wants to revisit Constitutional Amendment Number 19, and one hopes this is not about changing one’s mind in hindsight.

What is this about allocation of ambassadors when one group is reported to have completed training and is bound to leave the country any time now?

This item must have been smuggled in by some jobless boys and girls from Harvest House.

That is not the problem.

The problem is the person who allowed such an item to be part of the ongoing negotiations.

Zimbabwe; here you are.

The politicians you trusted with running your country can only sit and negotiate on matters that can only be described as remotely related to your aspirations and hopes and we even have the temerity to call neighbours to mediate over these matters of jobs for the boys and girls.

Politicians know no shame.

Zimbabwe we are one and together we will overcome. It is homeland or death!